Dear "Little Manatee"

From the first day I saw you and your mom I loved you. You tugged at my heart and I've held on to your picture for years.. I couldn't and still can't let you go.  What is it that you touch in me?  Do I even want to know?  I'm not sure what I feel as I watch you and your mom in so tender a moment.  A longing that is deep.. one that I've been afraid to name for years.. a sadness and something so fragile..

I have such an active and vivid imagination  and a sense of drama that I don't want to magnify or lessen what I yet cannot name.  I'm not sure if my focus is on you..or your mother..or both

I see such tenderness, such a delicate, gentle,  life giving bonding, embracing, attachment..connection.

Mother nursing her child..is their a part of me that never knew that bond?  Is that what attracts me so?

"Little One", so small, vulnerable, dependent, connected, bonded, embraced!!!  Your gentle nursing is touching something I can not name...

I was not in a place to ask for your response.. and yet now.. I ask.. what would you say to me..Mom?.. Baby?

Little One,

As mom I would say, yes that bond was there but as you said it was fragile...fragile but not lost..yet probably not strong enough for you to truly know it and feel its security as you see with me and my little one.  I'm glad we were able to touch that space within you and thank you for being open to our gift.  Your deep gentle love brings us much joy.

Dear "little Manatee and Mom"; with even more time gone by ..I would now name the longing you evoked in me as "a longing for belonging" which after so many years I am allowing myself to name, acknowledge, heal and be open to the many places of belonging in my life and the place of Ultimate Belonging ..the very Energy of God..The Ground of All Being!  Thank you for gently moving me toward that realization! 

PS. A note about the picture. After going on line trying to find a picture similar to the one I originally used for this sharing with no luck.. I took a picture of a copy of the picture.  That is why it seems less clear. For me it still captures that longing that was awakened in my heart waiting to be acknowledged and healed.