Dear Rose, 

I am asking for your wisdom so that I can finally let go of my fear of death. Today is Mom Riley's birthday and together I ask that you both help me to understand and let go of that fear. 

I associate it primarily with seeing both Mom and Dad Riley taken out of the house on stretchers as a young child for Dad, and a young woman for Mom. 

Seeing my brother Billy, in Boston Children's Hospital, behind glass after open heart surgery triggered that fear as well.  Any time I get sick, or have pain, I am afraid I am going to die. 

I want to let this fear go. What do I need to do, dear Rose. Are there things I am not aware of that you can help me with?  I want to be free and truly Live every day of my life. 

Dearest Assunta,

Thank you for finally having the courage to face this pain, which you have carried for so long. 

All of the events that you named above definitely played a part in your fear.  You pushed them down for a very long time, rather than face them. You also remember seeing Sister Vincentia, your very caring principal in high school, wheeled on a stretcher at the hospital, while you were visiting some one else, and I believe, she died soon after.  You remember a friend's young son, killed in an automobile accident; a young second grade student of yours, who died the next year as a result of a young friend showing him a gun and pulling the trigger, not realizing it was loaded.  A young student's father, whom you were visiting in the hospital, who died in your presence.  

That is an awful lot of death for you to take in, and yes, I can hear you saying, but so many people also experience death with their loved ones and others in so many ways as well.  That is true, but this is about you and your response. 

From your beginning, life has been very fragile and filled with uncertainty.  Your two month stay in the hospital as premature twins, being put up for adoption when you were a year old, always wondering, until you came to understand more fully, "What you did, that your Mother did not want you?"  Your foster Brother Billy, leaving the family after many years and then returning after he found his Mother dead on the couch.  Yes..that hurts to hear..just as all those other instances, were so hard for you to bear.  You have not had a lot of solid ground to stand on and so the slightest change creates fear of loss once again..and dear one,, that is the key word  LOSS. 

It is so hard to say good bye to those we love and care about. We feel we truly have lost them. BUT..

within the last few years you have come to see that those we love and care for, who have died are not LOST.

They are with us in a whole new way..which is still hard to grasp for so many. As today is Mom Riley's Birthday, you now know...She is still with you..even though she died in 1965. 

All of those who have died are with us in a very real way.

What if you could begin to see death as a transition to something new, something good, something beautiful .. a true sense of a WELCOMING HOME, for that is truly what death is?  Our loved ones are always with us, and when it is our time, we will join them in great joy and abundant love. 

Your change in understanding won't come overnight dear one..just like the petals of my being, 

change comes gradually as you are willing to see with new eyes in a whole new way...TRUST that GOING HOME is full of peace, abundant love and joy. It is time to Choose LIFE...NOT LOSS. I hope this gives you what you needed and wanted dear one. 

Dear Rose,

I can actually say, I love this. My understanding is changing and I am so grateful to know that all of those I love who have crossed over, are still with me.  I have heard these words in different ways but today..they touch me with clarity and peace. For so long I have focused on loss and now I will focus on LIFE AND LIVING knowing that my Family of loved ones is always with me. 

Thank you so much... and Thank you Mom, for a wonderful birthday present, for me.. on your birthday. I love you.